Close the Distance with Food

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Every year, early Thanksgiving morning, André Bernard sits in his cream-colored kitchen and stares blankly at the big bird. For 15 years now, he's cooked the turkey. And though Bernard is a consummate cook, each year the former book publisher and author is mystified by the cooking time and temperature the turkey requires.

His sister-in-law Marvie, who lives in Missoula, Montana, is the keeper of the family's foolproof roast turkey recipe. And Bernard's annual bout of fleeting amnesia provides the perfect excuse for an extended phone call.

After so many years, Marvie Redmond practically answers the phone saying: "It's three hours at 350 degrees, Andre."

"You would think I would remember something so basic," says Bernard, sheepishly. "The recipe never waivers no matter how big or small the bird is, and it always turns out perfectly."

"But I can assure you that I will forget again between today and Thanksgiving."

That's because the André-Marvie phone call connecting Hastings-on-Hudson, NY, to Missoula, MT, has precious little to do with roasting temperatures or basting frequency. It has everything to do with wanting to feel close to someone dear yet far on a day when families should be together. After the official turkey talk, Bernard, now vice president and secretary of the John Simon Guggenheim Memorial Foundation in New York City, hands the phone to his wife, Jennie, and the sisters catch up while André rolls up his sleeves and tends to his charge.

Holidays can be tough on families splintered far and wide. But if you can't physically be with the ones you love this holiday season, there are lots of ways to bridge the distance. In fact, it's never been easier to connect with loved ones who are far-flung.

Reach Out and Touch Someone

Placing a call to a distant family member is easy, heartfelt, and, in some cases, energetic and interactive. NewYork Painter Constanza Mallol always calls her sisters in Chile at midnight on New Year's Eve with a bowl of lentils in hand. Despite the time difference, both sisters wait for the call together on the other end - also with a bowl of lentils.

While on the phone, the three sisters each take three bites of lentils to usher in prosperity for the New Year. Then, each sister grabs a suitcase (at the ready by the door) and with the phone still wedged in the crook of her neck, takes her suitcase for a spin around the block. "This ensures lots of travel in the new year," explains Mallol. The artist says she looks forward to the joy this distance-busting phone call brings each year. "I never miss it."

Have Cake, Will Travel

A couple of years ago, Clare Dougherty's mother came to New York in November to visit her from deep Whales. Knowing how much her daughter enjoys her Auntie Jean's Christmas pudding onDecember 25th, she flew across the Atlantic with one wedged between her legs. Dougherty put it in the freezer and enjoyed it, as planned, on Christmas Day ? "the perfect cure for homesickness," she says. Too extreme? Why not make a family cake (hopefully yours is one that travels well) and ship it in sections to different family members so that everyone can be on the same "cake" page on the holiday. Fran Claro of Irvington, New York, ships her Easter pies to her daughters in San Francisco each year and, so far, they've all arrived intact.

Stuff the Bird With An Audience

Mary Wilson lives in New York but her entire family still lives in County Cork, Ireland. Holidays can be lonely, she says, but video-chatting via Skype helps: Wilson takes her laptop into the kitchen while she prepares the Christmas meal and she and her sister Carol chat "live," glass of wine in hand, while she cooks. Wilson also sets a place for the laptop at the holiday table so that her parents can join the festivities as well. "It took a while for everyone to get used to it," says Wilson, "but now it seems perfectly natural."

Adorn Your House with Photos and Mementos of the People You Miss

Let's face it; this is the one time of year people are going to forgive you for tacky décor. If you are separated from the ones you love, go ahead and decorate the tree with "photo" ornaments of those you wish lived closer. Why not forgo the traditional star this year and cap your Blue Spruce with a picture of someone who will be sorely missed. Or tuck pictures or reminders of them in the windows of your Advent calendar.

Prepare Parallel Menus

Who says you have to be in the same room to "share" a holiday meal? Margaret and Rob Schaeffer, of New York, have enjoyed he last several Thanksgivings with their close friends, the Nichols. This year, the Nichols moved back to their native England, leaving a gaping void at the Shaeffer table. So, both families recently agreed to carry on their tradition and cook "parallel" meals, in tandem. Whether they will continue with their annual "cross-cultural gravy war" (should it be clear, like jus or thick like sauce?) remains to be seen. To make it even more authentic, both families plan to listen to the same "background" tunes during the meal.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words. An Album? Even Better.

Instead of taking the usual humdrum picture of family members gathered around the table, why not snap photos of the entire day and post a "progressive photo album" on any number of the online photo sites available (Kodak Gallery, Shutterfly, Snapfish?). Catch Mom grating the potatoes for the latkes or Dad wrestling with his pie dough while still in his pajamas. Move on to the kids setting the table, and the lighting of the Menorah or the "Kinara," (for Kwanzaa). Snap photos of Uncle Harry doing the dishes (and looking really happy about it.) and your loved ones will feel like they didn't miss a thing!

Create A Family Recipe Album For Each Member Of The Family

When Molly Roberts gets wistful about the holidays of her Michigan childhood, she thumbs through the family recipe book her mother made for and her siblings a few years ago, when each embarked on a family of their own. On the cover of "Recipes from Yarmouth" (that was the name of their street) is a picture of Molly and her older brother and sister sculpting lambs out of butter sticks for Easter. Inside, there's page after page of the recipes the Roberts family grew up on with notes scribbled in red ink, like "Make with love," for a paella recipe, or, "you won't make this but I wan't you to have it anyway." Or: "My mother always made this on Easter," next to a recipe for lemon pie.

Raise a Glass Together

Matt Hogan has a favorite eggnog recipe (Craig Claiborne's version with Cognac and bourbon, originally published in The New York Times in 1958) that he likes to email to friends near and far at the start of the holiday season. He always includes a suggestion that they make the eggnog and then all raise a glass together at a pre-arranged date and time.

For the Hogans, it's enough to know their friends are imbibing with them in spirit, but in the age of the social sound bite, you could also text or Twitter your toast as you clink.

Don't Underestimate the Power of The Hand-Written Note

Time it just right so that your missive arrives the day before the holiday your loved one(s) will miss. Sure, e-mail does the trick but it doesn't tug at your heart the way a handwritten letter can, and it expects less of the sender. In our crazy whipstitch lives, the fact that anyone would take time out of a busy day to pull up a chair, take pause, and sit with their thoughts is a priceless gift. Depending on the holiday, why not sprinkle some cinnamon powder or a bit of glitter (for New Year's) in the envelope?