Cooking naked could be said to be a freeing act: one where you let go of your inhibitions to connect with your body and the food you eat. You become enraptured in the art of cooking and begin to appreciate your food with a new profound sense of self-awareness — smells, sounds, and tastes are more pronounced. Or, it could be a masochistic, silly experiment where you only inflict pain on yourself.
In case some of you soul-searchers, freethinkers, or adventurous eaters are looking to try this out, we drew up a quick list of foods that you should definitely not make when cooking naked.
Tastes so good, but is the spitting oil worth it? Maybe these little piggy parts wait until you have some clothes on.
Jalapeños or Other Hot Peppers
Hot seeds. Unprotected areas. Burning. Ouch. Not the best move. Even if you envision mashing ripe avocados between your fingertips to be the ultimate sensual experience, you might want to leave the jalapeños out of the guacamole if you’re doing this in the nude. Just a thought.
A hot, oiled cast-iron pan making contact with raw meat is a beautiful thing — when you’re not standing next to it naked.
We are talking about some serious hot oil here people, especially if you want to get that crisp exterior; this is a dish best left to those who are clothed.
Deep Fried Turkey
The allure of standing in the outdoors, getting in touch with nature, and working with your hands to deep-fry a turkey to create crispy, flavorful skin might sound appealing (if you live in a warm climate), but if that big bird falls in that oil just a little too quickly or flies off the handle, you are in some deep-fried trouble of your own my friend.
Trying to capitalize on your make-your-own sushi class, you figure working with brown rice and raw fish could be a healthy, revitalizing experience. But what happens when that finger grazes some wasabi and then happens to scratch an unnamed orifice… ? Think about it.
Yes, crushing tomatoes with your hands and smelling that intoxicating scent of sauce at a heightened sense of awareness must be nice, but sputtering flecks of tomato flying out at you as you bring it to a simmer might not be so nice.
Sweet seduction and a silky, buttery mouthfeel all come to mind at the mention of caramel, but cooking with sugar is not a smart move. There is going to be some serious splattering going on and that’s not something you want to expose yourself to.